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- The Revelation of Release
The first week of January arrives with pristine intentions, the gym membership is purchased, the vision board is completed, and the promise whispered to yourself in the mirror. This year will be different.
But by February, the membership card sits forgotten in your wallet. By March, you're back in the same job you swore you'd leave, surrounded by the same people who drain you, wearing the same dissatisfaction like a second skin.
And the strangest part? When you flip back through old journals, five years, seven years, a decade of January promises ago, you find yourself writing the same sentences. The same complaints. The same vows to change.
What if I told you the problem isn't your resolve? It's what you haven't released.
The Comfortable Cage of the Familiar
Here's the truth most people don't want to hear: we don't fail at change because we lack planning or willpower. We fail because we're terrified of what happens when we succeed.
That extra weight you carry? It's armor. The toxic relationship you keep returning to? It's familiar. The job you hate? It's predictable. And somewhere deep in your subconscious, predictable feels safer than possible.
We construct these comfortable cages around ourselves, built from old beliefs, inherited limitations, and the quiet certainty that we're not worthy of more. Then we wonder why our resolutions feel like pushing against a locked door.
The revelation isn't that you need more discipline. It's that you need to release the very beliefs that make your cage feel like home.
Age with Power Advantage
Your accumulated years give you permission to question everything you once accepted as truth
Decades of experience have already shown you what doesn't work, now you can stop repeating it
You've survived enough disappointments to know they won't destroy you, making release less terrifying
Your timeline is shorter, your tolerance for wasted time is lower, urgency becomes your ally
You've built enough wisdom to recognize when you're lying to yourself and call it what it is
The Island Mentality
We love to think of ourselves as islands, self-sufficient, having it all together, needing no one. It's a particularly seductive lie for women who've spent decades taking care of everyone else. I should be able to figure this out myself.
But here's what I discovered when I looked back at my own journals, at years of writing the same unfulfilled promises: I wasn't an island. I was isolated. And isolation masquerading as strength was keeping me stuck.
The shift came when I made myself coachable to life itself. When I stopped viewing outside guidance as admission of failure and started seeing it as strategic intelligence. Personal trainers. Mindset coaches. Business mentors. People who could see my blind spots because they weren't standing in them.
And something miraculous happened, not because they had magic answers, but because they challenged the belief systems I'd been clutching like security blankets. The comfortable lies I'd been telling myself suddenly became visible. And once you see them, you can't unsee them.
What's Really Killing You
It's not the extra pounds or the unfulfilling job or the draining relationships, those are just symptoms. What's actually killing you is the internal dialogue you've been running on repeat for decades.
I'm too old to start over.
Who am I to want more?
Better the devil you know.
At least I'm safe here.
These thoughts feel like protection. They present themselves as wisdom. But they're actually the bars of your cage, and you've been painting them daily with your attention.
The revelation of release demands that you stop defending these limiting beliefs just because they're familiar. Stop treating your own thoughts as gospel just because you've thought them a thousand times. Your mind is powerful, but it's also programmable. And right now, it might be running outdated software.
Your Power Shift Protocol
Write down one belief you've held for years that has never served you, then write what would be true if you released it
Identify one person in your life who could coach you through the change you keep avoiding, reach out this week
Journal every time you choose comfort over growth for seven days, notice the patterns without judgment
Find one small uncomfortable action aligned with your real desire, take it before you talk yourself out of it
Create a "coachability contract" with yourself defining one area where you'll accept outside wisdom this year
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
When I finally stopped trying to muscle my way through change and instead examined what I was holding onto beneath the surface, everything shifted. Not because I became more disciplined, but because I addressed the root instead of constantly pruning the symptoms.
My mindset adjusted first. Then my life followed naturally.
This is the sequence most people get backward. They try to change their circumstances while keeping their thoughts exactly the same. It's like rearranging furniture in a burning house and wondering why nothing feels better.
Release comes before resolution. Always.
You have to let go of who you've been, and more importantly, who you've told yourself you must be before you can become who you're meant to be.
This doesn't mean abandoning your identity. It means releasing the limiting beliefs that have been masquerading as your identity.
The Work Nobody Wants to Do
Here's why most resolutions fail by Valentine's Day: they require behavioral change without addressing the belief systems driving the behavior. You can join every gym in your city, but if you still believe deep down that you don't deserve to feel good in your body, you'll find a way to sabotage yourself.
You can leave the job, but if you haven't released the belief that you're not capable of more, you'll recreate the same dynamics in the next position. You can end toxic relationships, but if you haven't released the belief that you're unworthy of real love, you'll attract another version of the same pain.
The work nobody wants to do is the internal work. The excavation of beliefs. The examination of what you've been protecting and why. The honest assessment of where your comfort zone has become your prison.
But this is the work that actually transforms lives.
Making Yourself Coachable to Life
There's a profound shift that happens when you stop seeing yourself as someone who should have all the answers and start seeing yourself as someone capable of learning anything.
Being coachable doesn't mean you're broken. It means you're brave enough to admit you might be operating from incomplete information. That your perspective, no matter how well-earned, is still just one angle on a multidimensional truth.
When you make yourself coachable to life, you start noticing the lessons everywhere. The pattern in why certain relationships keep ending the same way. The reason why money flows easily in some areas but not others. The belief system that's been running your choices on autopilot for decades.
And once you see these patterns, you gain the power to change them.
The Five-Year Journal Test
Here's a powerful exercise: if you've kept journals, go back five years. Read what you were complaining about, promising to change, vowing to do differently. Now compare it to this year's resolutions.
If they're eerily similar, or worse, identical, you're not dealing with a motivation problem. You're dealing with a mindset problem that no amount of planning will solve.
The comfortable lies you tell yourself deserve to be challenged. The beliefs you've been defending simply because you've held them a long time deserve to be questioned. And the version of yourself you've been clinging to might need to be released entirely for the woman you're becoming to emerge.
This isn't about becoming someone else. It's about releasing all the ways you've been preventing yourself from being who you already are.
The Power of Release
Resolution implies adding something, more discipline, more effort, more forcing. Release is different. Release is about subtraction. About letting go of what's been weighing you down disguised as safety.
When you release the limiting beliefs, the outdated identities, the comfortable cages, you don't have to force growth. Growth happens naturally, the way a plant grows when you remove it from a pot that's become too small.
This year, before you resolve to change anything external, get the revelation of release. Look honestly at what you're clutching in your internal world. Examine which beliefs you're defending not because they're true, but because they're familiar.
Then ask yourself the most important question: What would be possible if I let this go?
This isn't another year of the same promises. This is the year you release what's been holding those promises hostage. The gym membership, the vision board, the perfect plan, they all work beautifully once you've done the real work of letting go.
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About the Author
Dr. Diva Verdun, the Fierce Factor Expert and Architect of Ageless Power™, is the founder of FENOM University and the Age with Power™ movement, where she empowers ambitious women to crush it after 50 and rewrite the rules of aging. Through her signature Core 4 Principles of F.I.R.E.™ — Purpose, Passion, Prosperity, and Power — she guides women to ignite their inner brilliance, embody their authentic power, and expand into a life of bold, liberated expression. On the campus of FENOM University, Dr. Diva leads transformational experiences, legacy brand training, and deep mindset shifts designed to help women rise into their next chapter with unstoppable fire.
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