A Movie, A Meal, & Move On

There's a particular freedom that comes with being a woman over 50. The freedom to laugh at advice that once seemed frivolous and recognize it as revolutionary. My late friend Sheena Dodson used to joke about relationships with a lightness that masked profound truth, even though she didn’t know it. She would laugh and say “You gotta follow the 3Ms: A movie, a meal, move on." 

She'd toss it off casually, her way of deflecting deeper conversations, hiding her true heart behind humor. Yet this throwaway line has become one of the most powerful frameworks I've carried into this chapter of my life, and share with other women now as wise dating advice. Sheena's gone now, but her words live on, more relevant than ever for women who've reached the age where games feel exhausting and authenticity feels essential.

Until now, I've kept this story close, sharing it only in intimate conversations. But if there's a perfect platform for this truth, it's here, in a newsletter for women who are done playing small and ready to experience life by their own terms.

What I've come to call the 3M Rule is simple enough to remember during a glass of wine with girlfriends, yet profound enough to transform how you approach connection at this stage of life.

Let me break down how I've taken her literal advice and turned it into a framework to share with women as basic dating advice after 50.

The Movie: Watching in the Dark

When my friend said "a movie," she literally meant going to the movies. It's easy and if conversation fails, at least you're entertained for two hours. But this is really something deeper when we take it as great dating advice using the movie as a metaphor. You see, this stage represents something deeper: the opening act of connection, the chemistry stage where everything exists in shadows and highlights. This is where we're genuinely in the dark about who this person really is beneath the attraction.

In this stage, you not watching the movie you are in the movie. You are watching the whole idealized image of the other person in how they walk, talk, and respond to the world around them, and they are doing the same. It a great feature film you both love.

The euphoria of new connection creates a kind of tunnel vision where physical chemistry drowns out the whispers of intuition. You're captivated by attributes that catch light in a specific way: their laugh, their confidence, the way they order coffee or hold a door.

This stage isn't wrong, it's necessary. Chemistry matters. But at 50-plus, you've learned what younger versions of yourself didn't know: chemistry without substance is just a great movie revealing attraction, but attraction alone won't sustain what comes next.

The Meal: Discovering What's Real

My friend meant the meal literally too, dinner, drinks, whatever. It's the natural progression of dating, right? But the meal stage is where facades crumble and real humans emerge. This is when you start asking questions that matter, sharing stories that reveal character, learning about trials that shaped them and triumphs that define them. You're moving beyond attraction into genuine curiosity about who they are when no one's watching.

During the meal stage, you discover their relationship with their past, their patterns in relationships, how they speak about ex-partners, what they value when they think no one's judging. You learn whether their words match their actions, whether their values align with yours, whether they're genuinely interested in who YOU are beneath your own carefully constructed presentation.

This is the stage where red flags wave boldly if you're willing to see them. The way they treat service staff. How they react when plans change. Whether they ask questions or only share monologues. Their relationship with honesty. How they handle disagreement. Whether they respect your boundaries or test them.

At this stage, you're making a critical assessment: Do I actually LIKE this person, or am I just attracted to them? Because attraction fades when character disappoints, but genuine affection based on respect and shared values creates foundation for something sustainable.

If you ignore the red flags now, if you convince yourself that chemistry will compensate for character you're walking directly into a lesson you've probably already learned the hard way. Often, you're repeating a pattern you swore you'd never repeat again, drawn in by familiar dynamics that feel comfortable precisely because they're familiar, even when they're destructive.

Move On: The Revolutionary Choice

Here's where my friend's joke becomes the most revolutionary part of my framework: Move on! She meant it as the punchline, if the movie and meal don't lead anywhere, just move on to the next prospect. Keep it light, keep it moving, don't get attached. But I've transformed this into something far more intentional: moving on with grace and gratitude for the brief connection you shared. Count it all as experience; the companionship, the laughter, the discovery process, and yes, even the sex. Honor what it was without forcing it to become what it isn't.

Moving on after discovering incompatibility isn't failure. It's wisdom in action. It's the difference between women who waste years trying to fix what was never whole and women who recognize misalignment and redirect their energy toward aligned possibility.

The difficulty, of course, is that attachment forms quickly when you're craving connection. Loneliness can make you cling to companionship that doesn't serve you. The comfort of having someone, anyone, can feel safer than the uncertainty of being alone again. But this is precisely where your age becomes your advantage.

By 50, you've learned that being alone is vastly different from being lonely. You've discovered that companionship that diminishes you is more isolating than chosen solitude. You understand that settling for wrong connection blocks space for right connection to find you.

Moving on isn't giving up on love, it's refusing to settle for less than you deserve. It's trusting that by releasing what doesn't align, you create openness for what does. It's recognizing that your time has become too valuable to invest in relationships that don't honor your growth.

Beyond the Formula: What Real Connection Looks Like

When you find someone worth more than just a movie and a meal, you know it. The chemistry remains, but it's enhanced by genuine compatibility. The attraction deepens into respect. The conversations become real rather than performative. You don't ignore red flags because there aren't any, or when challenges arise, you both address them with honesty rather than avoidance.

The meals become real. Not just dates where you're auditioning for each other's approval, but actual moments of connection where you can be fully yourself without pretense. The movies you watch together become shared experiences rather than distractions from incompatibility.

This doesn't mean perfection, it means presence. It means someone who shows up consistently, not sporadically. Someone whose words match their actions. Someone who respects your autonomy while choosing to intertwine their life with yours. Someone who doesn't need you to complete them but chooses to complement you.

The No-Games Advantage of Age

There's a particular clarity that comes with being over 50 in the dating world: You're done with games. Not because you're jaded, but because you're wise. You've learned that manipulation masquerading as mystery is exhausting. You understand that authentic connection requires vulnerability, not strategy.

You no longer have patience for people who play hot and cold, who breadcrumb attention, who keep you guessing about their intentions. You're past the age of translating mixed signals or making excuses for inconsistent behavior. You want partners who step to the plate with the same desire for honor and honesty that you bring.

This isn't about demanding perfection or being inflexible, it's about requiring authenticity. You've lived long enough to know the difference between someone who's genuinely working through their own growth and someone who's using personal development as an excuse for treating you poorly.

Let's face it: You're getting older, and there's simply no more time for games. This isn't a depressing reality, it's a liberating one. The urgency you feel isn't about desperation; it's about valuing your remaining years enough to spend them wisely. You want to build valuable relationships, even if some of those relationships are brief connections that teach you something important about yourself.

One-Night Stands and Sovereign Choices

Here's something younger women often don't understand: At 50-plus, you get to make decisions about your body, your time, and your connections without anyone's permission. If a one-night connection feels right, you're allowed to choose it without shame or explanation. The difference now is that you're making that choice from sovereign authority rather than seeking validation.

You're no longer in a mental space where you live by anyone else's rules. Not your mother's ideas about propriety, not society's expectations about age-appropriate behavior, not your friends' opinions about what you "should" do. You've earned the right to make choices that serve your desires without justifying them to anyone.

This doesn't mean recklessness, it means consciousness. You understand the difference between impulsive decisions driven by insecurity and intentional choices made from authentic desire. You know how to protect yourself emotionally and physically while still allowing yourself the full spectrum of human connection.

The Revolutionary Act of Moving On

My friend Sheena who used to joke about the 3Ms was misunderstood her whole life because she hid behind humor. She joked about relationships constantly, deflecting genuine vulnerability with wit and sarcasm. I think she was protecting a heart that had been broken too many times, creating distance through laughter so no one could get close enough to hurt her again.

But beneath the jokes was a woman who understood something profound, even if she didn't articulate it this way: Not every connection is meant to last, and that's not a tragedy. Some people come into your life for a movie and a meal, a brief chapter that teaches you something important before you both move on. The wisdom isn't in forcing those connections to become more than they are; it's in honoring them for exactly what they were and releasing them with grace.

Sheena never got to see how I'd transform her 3M joke into revolutionary wisdom for women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond. She died before I could tell her that I was going to share this framework with other women, that her joke was literal dating advice that contained more truth than she probably ever realized.

So here I am, committing her words to this newsletter as a permanent stamp in my advice to women over 50 for the first time, sharing it with women who are ready to date with intention rather than desperation. Women who understand that moving on isn't giving up, it's clearing space for what's actually meant for you.

Creating Space for What's Next

Every time you move on from a connection that doesn't serve you, you're performing an act of profound self-respect. You're telling the Universe that you value yourself too much to settle for less than aligned partnership. You're demonstrating faith that something better is possible.

This requires trust, trust that you're worthy of genuine connection, trust that the right person will appreciate who you actually are, trust that being alone is preferable to being with someone who diminishes your light.

But here's what experience has taught you: Every time you've had the courage to walk away from wrong connection, you've created space for right connection to find you. Not immediately, perhaps, but inevitably. The Universe responds to the energy of someone who knows their worth.

The Gift of Clear Vision

My friend Sheena Dodson, who joked about the 3Ms, understood something that only becomes clear with experience: You can love someone and still recognize they're not your person. You can enjoy someone's company and still know they're not meant for your journey. You can appreciate the connection while understanding it has an expiration date.

This isn't cynicism, it's clarity. It's the ability to hold multiple truths simultaneously: This feels good AND this isn't right for me long-term. I'm attracted to them AND their character concerns me. I enjoy their presence AND I don't want to build a life with them.

Younger women often struggle with these nuances, feeling they must choose between all-in commitment or complete rejection. But you've learned that connection exists on a spectrum, and not every relationship needs to escalate to partnership. Some connections are meant to be exactly what they are, a movie, a meal, and then a mutual decision to move on.

The Next Chapter Awaits

So here's to friends who disguise wisdom in jokes, who protect their hearts while still offering truth, who teach us through laughter what they couldn't articulate through vulnerability. Here's to taking their joking advice and transforming it into something revolutionary. Here's to women over 50 who refuse to waste time on relationships that don't honor their growth.

A movie, a meal, move on. She meant it as a joke. I've turned it into a framework. And within that transformation lives profound respect for your time, your energy, and your right to build the life you desire. Within that formula exists permission to enjoy connection without forcing it to become something it isn't.

The next person might be just another movie and meal. Or they might be the person you keep dining with forever, someone who transforms the formula from dating strategy into love story. Either way, you'll know. And that knowing? That's the real advantage of aging with power.

About the Author

Dr. Diva Verdun, the Fierce Factor Expert and Architect of Ageless Power™, is the founder of FENOM University and the Age with Power™ movement, where she empowers ambitious women to crush it after 50 and rewrite the rules of aging. Through her signature Core 4 Principles of F.I.R.E.™ — Purpose, Passion, Prosperity, and Power — she guides women to ignite their inner brilliance, embody their authentic power, and expand into a life of bold, liberated expression. On the campus of FENOM University, Dr. Diva leads transformational experiences, legacy brand training, and deep mindset shifts designed to help women rise into their next chapter with unstoppable fire.

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