The Formula to Decode the P.A.S.T.

Have you ever noticed how certain memories seem to hold you captive, playing on repeat in your mind like a song you can't turn off? Or perhaps you've experienced that familiar tightness in your chest when faced with a situation that resembles something painful from years ago?

You're not alone. For many women over 50, the past can become an invisible prison—one we don't even realize we're in until we find ourselves making decisions based on what happened rather than what could be.

This is where the P.A.S.T. Formula, which I teach on the campus of FENOM University becomes invaluable. By understanding how Pain, Assumptions, Stories, and Triggers operate in our lives, we gain the key to unlock the door of this invisible prison.

Understanding How to Decode the P.A.S.T.

The Formula to Decode the P.A.S.T. identifies four distinct elements that keep us anchored in backward thinking:

• P – Pain: The unprocessed emotional residue from difficult experiences that continues to influence present decisions.

• A – Assumptions: The unconscious conclusions we drew from past experiences that we now apply universally.

• S – Stories: The narratives we've created about ourselves, others, and life based on selective interpretation of past events.

• T – Triggers: The present-moment situations that activate our pain, assumptions, and stories, pulling us back into past patterns.

When we understand how these elements work together, we can begin to separate the wisdom of our experiences from their emotional grip.

Let's look at how each element of the P.A.S.T. Formula manifests in the lives of women over 50, and more importantly, how understanding each element creates the foundation for moving forward with power.

Pain: From Wound to Wisdom

Catherine, a 58-year-old executive, carried the pain of a very public professional failure for over a decade. "When my department was shut down under my leadership, I interpreted it as personal incompetence," she explains. "That pain colored every career decision I made afterward."

The breakthrough came when Catherine realized that pain itself wasn't the problem—it was her relationship with it. "I started to see that pain as information rather than identity. It wasn't who I was; it was simply data about what hadn't worked in that specific situation."

This shift represents one of the most profound advantages of aging: the ability to transform pain from a wound that limits us into wisdom that guides us.

What makes this transformation possible is the development of what neuroscientists call "emotional differentiation"—the ability to distinguish between similar emotional states with greater precision. Research shows this capacity actually increases after 50, making it easier to separate the useful information in our pain from its limiting emotional charge.

Assumptions: The Invisible Architects

The assumptions we form based on our experiences are perhaps the most powerful shapers of our lives—and the most invisible.

Marianne, age 62, spent twenty years believing she "wasn't good with money" because of financial struggles in her thirties. This assumption led her to avoid financial responsibility, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"I never questioned the assumption until I joined a women's investment group at 60," she shares. "When I actually looked at my history objectively, I realized I had managed money quite successfully in many situations. My 'bad with money' assumption was based on a specific period under specific circumstances."

The power of identifying assumptions lies in the freedom it creates. Once Marianne recognized her assumption as just that—an assumption, not a fact—she was able to approach financial decisions with a clean slate.

Stories: Narrative vs. Reality

The stories we tell ourselves are perhaps the most creative aspect of backward thinking—and the area where women over 50 have a unique advantage in creating change.

Denise, 56, had carried a story about being "too outspoken" since childhood. "My parents always said I talked too much, had too many opinions. I internalized that as meaning I was 'too much' for people to handle," she recalls.

This story influenced everything from her romantic relationships to her professional advancement. "I would hold back in meetings, qualify my statements, make myself smaller."

The revelation came during a leadership workshop where Denise received feedback that was completely at odds with her story. "People described me as 'thoughtful,' 'measured,' and said they wanted to hear more from me. It was like they were describing a different person than the one in my story."

Women over 50 have a significant advantage when it comes to revising limiting stories: perspective. With decades of life experience, we can more easily recognize the difference between evidence-based reality and the stories we've created.

Triggers: From Reaction to Response

Triggers are the present-moment situations that activate our pain, assumptions, and stories. They're the moment when past and present collide—often resulting in reactions that don't serve our current circumstances.

Linda, 65, found herself irrationally angry whenever her adult daughter made independent decisions without consulting her. "I would feel this surge of emotion that seemed out of proportion," she explains. "It took me years to realize I was being triggered by memories of my own mother, who had controlled my decisions and then criticized my independence."

The breakthrough came when Linda learned to recognize the physical sensations that accompanied being triggered—tightness in her chest, shallow breathing, a flush of heat—as signals to pause rather than react.

"Now when I feel those sensations, I know I'm being pulled into the past. I can take a breath and choose a response based on the present situation, not my history with my mother."

The P.A.S.T. Formula isn't about denying or suppressing your history. It's about transforming how you carry that history forward—not as a burden that limits you, but as wisdom that empowers you.

The Alchemy of Awareness

When we apply the Formula to Decode the P.A.S.T., we experience what I call "the alchemy of awareness"—a transformative process where the lead of limitation becomes the gold of possibility. Unlike mere acceptance or resignation about our past, this alchemy actively transmutes our relationship with history.

Rebecca, 67, describes this transformation: "Understanding my P.A.S.T. wasn't just about acknowledging what happened. It was about seeing how I had become the alchemist of my own experience, unconsciously turning neutral events into limiting beliefs. Once I recognized that power, I could use it consciously to transform those same experiences into wisdom."

This alchemy represents the essence of being Intentional. When we decode our P.A.S.T., we reclaim our power to choose how we interpret and carry our experiences, rather than allowing them to interpret and carry us.

It also reflects the principle of Fierce authenticity. There's nothing more fierce than looking directly at the ways we've limited ourselves and choosing a different path forward—not because our past wasn't real, but because our future deserves more than to be a repetition of what came before.

The Illumination of Identity

Perhaps the most profound gift of decoding your P.A.S.T. is discovering who you truly are beneath the layers of interpretation and adaptation. This isn't about finding some new version of yourself, but rather uncovering the authentic self that has always been there, waiting to be recognized.

As Maria, 61, puts it: "I spent decades thinking I was 'too sensitive' because that's what I was told as a child. When I examined this story through the P.A.S.T. Formula, I realized my sensitivity wasn't a flaw—it was actually my greatest strength as an artist. I'd been hiding a gift because I'd accepted someone else's interpretation of it."

This illumination doesn't happen all at once. It emerges gradually as we shine the light of awareness on each element of our P.A.S.T. With each revelation comes a clearer sense of our authentic identity, unclouded by the mists of misinterpretation.

The beauty of this work at midlife and beyond is that we've lived long enough to have perspective, yet still have time to embody our discoveries. We're no longer racing to find ourselves—we're finally slowing down enough to recognize who we've been all along.

In this recognition lies the true power of decoding your P.A.S.T.—not just freedom from backward thinking, but the illumination of your most authentic self. It's like finally cleaning years of dust from a mirror and seeing your reflection clearly for the first time.

What you discover in that reflection isn't what you'll become—it's who you've always been beneath the layers of adaptation and accommodation. And from that authentic foundation, your future unfolds not as a reaction to your past, but as an expression of your true nature.

About the Author

Dr. Diva Verdun, the Fierce Factor Expert and #1 transformative architect on aging, empowers women over 50 to seize their destiny and Age with Power™. Through her signature F.I.R.E.™ methodology and Fenom University, she ignites women's fierce potential to live life on their terms. Follow her on Facebook or Linkedin.