From Suicide to L.I.F.E.

Suicide is one of the hardest topics to discuss openly. There’s a silence around it, and yet, almost everyone has faced moments of despair so deep that the thought of ending their life has crossed their mind. For many, the idea of suicide isn’t about truly wanting to die—it’s about wanting the pain to stop. In this article, I want to speak to both the families who are left to heal from the devastation of suicide and those who are contemplating taking their own lives.

The Courage to Face Suicide

We’re taught to keep thoughts of suicide hidden, as though speaking them aloud somehow gives them power. But the truth is, nearly everyone has, at one point or another, questioned their ability to keep going. We all have moments when life feels too overwhelming, the pain too unbearable.

Suicidal ideation often comes from a place of deep, emotional pain, not from a genuine desire to end life itself. We don’t necessarily want to die; we want to escape suffering. It’s a cry for relief, and it’s time we start talking about that openly, without shame.

Healing for the Family

I’ve walked this path twice, first when my father committed suicide in 1980, and again in 2012 when my brother took his own life just three days before my birthday. Nothing can prepare you for the shock of losing a loved one in such a way. Watching the coroner take my brother's 360-pound body away felt surreal, like I was trapped in a bad movie.

As a family, we were left with so many questions. The “why” tortured us—what could we have done? What did we miss? But the truth is, those questions only add more pain. We eventually chose to stop asking "why" and started to embrace the idea that suicide, like all transitions, is part of L.I.F.E.™. We came into an awareness of truth that Spirit can never die.

For those of us left behind, healing begins when we stop blaming ourselves and recognize that there are things beyond our control. Suicide leaves no easy answers, and part of healing is accepting that we might never fully understand. We chose to honor my brother’s life by celebrating his continued L.I.F.E.™, even after his physical death.

A Message to Those Contemplating Suicide

To anyone reading this who might be contemplating suicide, I want to speak directly to you. I understand the pain. I’ve been there. I’ve had moments where the weight of everything felt so heavy that I couldn’t see a way out. I felt hopeless and exhausted by the pain.

But here’s what I discovered in those dark moments: I didn’t really want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop. There’s a fear that comes with those thoughts, especially if you believe in life after death or fear going to hell. But I came to understand that suicide isn’t the way to escape pain—it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. All be it, it did not feel like a temporary problem when I was going through it.

Through my own journey, I realized that the path forward wasn’t in ending my life but in finding new ways to live it. This is where the concept of "dying daily" became so powerful for me as expressed by Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:31. Every day, we have the chance to let parts of ourselves die—the parts that no longer serve us, the pain, the fear, the old patterns—and embrace a new life that does.

Dying to Live: L.I.F.E.™ Through Transitions

L.I.F.E.™ is a process of constant transition. Just like the caterpillar that sheds its old body and becomes a butterfly, we are constantly evolving, transforming, and growing. Death isn’t the end; it’s a transformation. Every day, we “die” a little bit, letting go of what no longer serves us, and through that process, we are reborn everyday to new ideas, new thoughts, and new experiences.

Contemplating suicide feels like an end, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s a deep desire for transformation, for something to change. And change is possible without ending your life. You are truly stronger than you ever thought you were. I know because I came back from the brink of taking my own life to witness two family members actually take theirs. Why am I here and they are not? Because I made a different choice. I made the choice to find resolve in the pain I was going through and solace in the fact that I am created in the image and likeness of the Almighty and therefore there can be nothing I can’t bear. Just like the butterfly, we can break free from the pain and rise into something new.

Finding Strength in Seeking Help

For those who feel trapped in the cycle of suicidal thoughts, know this: there is strength in asking for help. You don’t have to go through this alone. Professional help can be a lifeline, and reaching out to friends, family, or support groups can remind you that you are not alone in your struggle. You truly are not.

It’s important to know that it’s okay to not be okay. So many of us have felt we weren’t ok too and we know exactly how you feel. There’s no shame in needing help to navigate the pain. Sometimes, just hearing someone say, “I see you, I understand,” can be enough to pull you back from the edge.

Healing and Recovery: Choosing L.I.F.E.™

Healing from suicidal thoughts is a journey, and it’s not always a straight line. Some days will be harder than others. But each day you choose to keep going is a victory. Each day you choose L.I.F.E.™ over despair, you are growing stronger.

For families who have lost someone to suicide, healing comes through accepting that life and death are part of the same journey. We grieve, yes, but we can also find peace in the knowledge that L.I.F.E.™ is always moving forward, always transitioning. Our loved ones are never truly gone; they have just transformed.

Conclusion

Suicide is a difficult and painful experience, both for those contemplating it and for the families left behind. But there is hope. By talking openly about suicide, by acknowledging the pain without judgment, we can begin to heal. Whether you’re someone struggling with suicidal thoughts or someone mourning a loved one lost to suicide, know that L.I.F.E.™ continues, and there is always a way forward.

You are not alone. You are seen, you are loved, and there is help available.

Love and Light!

Diva